The Westminster Confession of Funk

Talking about theology, but keeping it funky

I am a husband and father and pastor of Trinity Covenant Church and teacher as St. Abraham’s Classical Christian Academy in Santa Cruz, CA.

I married my Indian Princess just before Y2K. I am an old fashioned Protestant Christian Humanist who lives where people vacation. I love music, love to surf, coach soccer for a hoard of minions, play the drums, and read actual flesh and blood books. I enjoy theology and literature and history and philosophy (if Sophie is serving beer) and Anglo-Saxon Poetry.

If I could have lunch with any three living people, I would have buffalo ribs with a butter, mushroom, cream sauce, Roxy Ray would be singing with Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, and I’d be at table with Tom Wolfe, ?uestlove, and Adam Schlesinger (and Brad Bird, because it’s my fantasy, and no one can count in my fantasy).

If I could have dinner with any three dead people (and the TARDIS was there with its universal language translation circuit) I’d have slow smoked dry ribs with the author of Beowulf, Herodotus, Martin Bucer, and Polycarp (see the previous paragraph if you have questions about my ability to count). And Janis Joplin would be singing with Louis Armstrong and his All-Stars backed up by Parliament Funkadelic of course.

My carefully crafted internet persona is also much cooler than my actual person, but I can live with that.

The Parable of the Man Who Rocked the Vote

Once upon a time there was a man who had never voted.

He was a registered voter. (He had registered at an MTV rock the vote in college. He had just never made it into an actually voting booth). He had recently been convinced that he should be voting, making his voice heard, and all that, so today he was walking down the street towards the library. There might be a voting booth there? Or at least someone who could tell him where to find one.

On the way, he saw a school that was falling down and said, “I should vote for whoever will fix our schools.” As he continued down the road, he saw a bank that was closing and said, “I should vote for whoever will fix our country’s banking problem.”

As he got closer to the library he saw a child who was lost. He crossed to the other side of the road and said to himself, “I should vote for someone to come up with a system to help lost children find their parents.”

As he got to the end of the block, a dragon swooped down and landed right in front of him. It was carrying a woman in a fair amount of distress. She was even screaming for help while being placed into the scorching and foul-smelling mouth of the great wyrm. (Our story did begin once upon a time after all, it has to have a dragon). Our young conscientious voter, in a surprising act of bravery, threw his voters pamphlet over his shoulder at the dragon as he ran for it, leaving the distressed young maiden to her fate.

Thankfully, just at that moment, a city bus pulled up and he was able to hop on. He thought to himself, “I will definitely vote for whoever expanded public transportation.”